Friday, January 11, 2008

Video Comedy Fun Time

I know what you're saying. You're saying, hey man! Another post with videos? Yeah, you got me. I'm lazy. So what?

The important thing is we made it to the weekend! HIGH FIVE!

True confession: I've never seen an episode of the Sopranos. But that didn't stop me from enjoying this Kenny Mayne ESPN spoof starring Cowboys coach Tony Sparano, Tony Romo, Mark Cuban and Jason Witten. And I could listen to Journey all day (and frequently do). Cool sidenote: this video was filmed at the Local Diner, which is right across the street from my office. I eat there all the time.

I don't know how to introduce this one, so I'll just ask the question. What if there's bears?

Ever heard of Jack McBrayer? Dude's comedy genius.

This next clip just kills me. Tim Meadows tries to keep Dewey from ... well, just watch.

And sadly, looks like there'll be no more naked bongo for Matthew McConaughey. :(

Even Bruce Willis - the one from the 80s with hair - sez: "It's fun time! Let yourself be happy!"

That was fun. And now I'm done.

Friday, January 04, 2008

A Series Of Rather Unfortunate Events

Okay, I'll make this short and sweet, mainly because I can barely believe I'm wasting valuable time that could be better spent pounding my forehead against a doorjamb or watching the second hand on a clock move.

But I digress, as I always do.

For your perusal, a rough, woefully incomplete timeline of a bizarre nature:

1. When it all began, it was pretty much common knowledge that Kevin Federline - henceforth referred to with the genius moniker K-Fed - was a no-talent layabout that lucked out; in its pure essence, his story was the equivalent of your cousin Chauncey hitting the lottery.

2. We held off making uninformed, snap judgements until ...

... his complete lack of talent was confirmed.

3. Flash-forward: Britney and K-Fed split up. And amazingly enough, if you can believe it, at this point we still had a positivish impression of Britney.

4. Britney self-destructed on a scale heretofore unimagined. (Google "Britney Spears" and you'll find all you need to know; the mountain of evidence is staggering.)

5. I know I'm jumping ahead here, but really, who cares. Long story short, Britney lost total custody of her kids today.

6. Since she is such a daily trainwreck - again, with literally scads of media evidence to confirm it - we find ourselves generally on bended knee and grateful as a nation that K-Fed has custody of the kids.

7. End result? We discover K-Fed DOES have talent, just not the rapping or musical kind. His talent is being - hands down - a better parent than crazy, idiotic, baby-almost-dropping, moppet-in-lap-illegally-while-driving, panties-less Britney.

Yay K-Fed.


I really need a shower now.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Go green! Save a woodchuck.

It just struck me today how we never really hear about the duck-billed platypus. Sure, we've all seen the pictures, and boy are they ugly, but you'd think with this enlightened, plugged-in culture we live in that we'd see a platypus blog. Or maybe a platypus myspace page. I cry speciesism on that.

Same with weasels. They don't get their just due either. Yeah, they skulk around, doing whatever it is that weasels do in between helpings of rodent pie, but they really need to come on out into the limelight. They're sneaky, but they're practically exploding with talent. I've heard that some have beautiful voices, the kind that would make an angel cry. I want to hear one. I mean, who wouldn't want to go see a musical called West Side Weasel? I know I would. In a heartbeat.

I'd also like to meet a woodchuck before I die. Is that too much to ask? Sure, you hear about them all the time; evidently they are more than capable of chucking much wood. But isn't it high time we had a woodchuck spokesman? Kind of like a press secretary, only without the flawless diction and political bias.

There you go. Three long-ignored Friends of Earth. I'm sure there's more; hey, there's got to be, but I'm only one man. With one blog. I do what I can.

But I've got a feeling it may not be enough.